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Lesson 3 – Silly Love Songs

by StoneBridge on February 12th, 2015

“Silly Love Songs”

“Love Will Keep Us Together (and other myths)”
Proverbs 24:3; 1 Corinthians 7:32-34; 1John 3:18

(February 15-21, 2015)

In 1975 Captain and Tennille released the song, “Love will keep us together”. In January of this last year, however, Toni Tennille divorced Captain claiming the marriage was “irretrievably broken”. Words were not enough to hold this marriage together.

Imagine (or listen to) Willie Nelson’s voice singing this reflective song of regret.

“Always On My Mind”
(originally by Brenda Lee)

“Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind…” 

Her love for him died for lack of expression. Evidently just being on his mind was not enough for her. A good marriage needs and deserves more.

Answer and discuss the following question with your group

  1. What do you think it takes for people to remain happily married for 50+ years?

 Read the following excerpt out loud or watch message segment #1

An excerpt from Pastor Mark’s message, “Love Will Keep Us Together”

Watch Online

“Marriages do not automatically grow. It takes hard work and effort. It takes knowledge and wisdom. Marriages are what you make it – it really does depend on how much work and effort you put into it. No matter what it has been like to this point you can have a fantastic relationship.”

Refer to Proverbs 24:3 and answer/discuss the following questions

  1. Why do you think so much emphasis is put on brain stuff (wisdom and good sense) instead of heart stuff (emotions and feelings) in this passage?
  1. If a marriage is to last, what would you say is the right mix of intellect and emotion?  What other ingredients would you add to the mix?
  1. What television shows can you think of that illustrate a healthy marriage and family? What television shows can you think of that illustrate a dysfunctional marriage and family? What criteria do you use to make these value judgements?
  1. What would you say are three problem areas in marriage that most couples need to work on? Why do you think many couples choose to not identify and solve problems within their marriage?

Read the following excerpt out loud or watch message segment #2

An excerpt from Pastor Mark’s message, “Love Will Keep Us Together”

Watch Online

“Marriage takes a lot of attention.

Do you remember how much attention you used to give your husband or wife before you got married? You wrote notes – bought flowers – talked on the phone for hours – face timed – when out. You were saying – you have my undivided attention. In fact you thought about each other all the time.

So what happened?

You don’t think about each other as much as you used to. You began to take each other for granted. All of a sudden – over time – other things started getting more of your attention. There were babies and bills and careers and hobbies – your kid’s sports programs – and school things…

Attention tends to wear off.”

Refer to the following scriptures and answer/discuss the following questions

  1. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, as the church was entering a time of intense persecution, the Apostle Paul actually encouraged these men not to marry. Paul was not against marriage, but recognized the investment of attention needed for the coming persecution and for a good marriage. Why does paying attention to a spouse matter so much in a marriage? Does that need for attention increase or decrease with the number of anniversaries? Explain.
  1. What are some special “attention moments” you have experienced as a couple? Which attention moments do you appreciate more; the annual expensive ones or the everyday free ones? Explain.
  1. Read 1John 3:18 and re-state it using your own words. In the church and in a marriage/relationship of two believers why is it so important for our words and our actions to consistently express love?

Reflection and Wrap-up

  1. What is one area of weakness in your marriage/relationship that you alone can improve. Write it on a scrap of paper and carry it with you. Make it a priority of prayer and action for a month.

Pray Together as a Group

Additional Study

If you have time during your Small Group or you want to study more about love and marriage, read and consider the following passages:

  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
  • Ephesians 5:21-33
  • Proverbs 12:25
  • Proverbs 31:10-31
  • Proverbs 5:15-23

For the printable PDF of this lesson, click the following link.

Silly Love Songs #3

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